How to have a good (happy) (healthy) family life (relationships) | What makes a marriage and family life a success and why | How can I improve my family relationships? | What makes a family relationship strong?
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Common questions asked about this topic are as given below:
How can I improve my family life? | What makes a family life successful? | What is the key to happy family life? | What are the ways to build a strong family? |
How can I enjoy my family (life)? | How do you maintain a loving and happy family | Importance of having good family relationship | Ways to build good relationship with my family |
Things I can do to make my family happy | Importance of having a happy family | What makes a happy family | How to have a happy family | And many more…
Meaning of family : A family is a group of people related by blood (identified by birth) or affinity (identified by marriage or other relationships).
Purpose of a family : The main purpose of the family is to safeguard the welfare of its members and the society as a whole.
Maturity of the family members : Ideally, the family or families often provide the future, foundation, and security as members learn to participate in adulthood and the well-being of the family and community.
Why family is require : Historically, most human societies have used the family as the primary place of bonding, attachment, nurturing, and socialization within and outside the family.
Anthropologists classify most family organizations as given below:
Matrifocal family : A mother and her children. | Patrifocal family : A father and his children. | Conjugal family : A wife, her husband, and children. This is also called as nuclear family. |
Avuncular family : A man, his sister, and her children. | Extended family : In addition to parents and children, may include grandparents, aunts, uncles, or cousins).
Extended families consist of several generations of people and can include biological parents and their children as well as in-laws, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.
The field of genealogy aims to track-down family ancestry through history. The most important economic unit studied in family economics is the family. The term “families” can be used metaphorically to generate more inclusive categories such as the global village, society, community, and nationhood.
List of the “How to have a good (happy) (healthy) family life | What makes a marriage and family life a success and why” is as given below:
Nullify your ego (pride) : The first and foremost thing we must always remember is that we have to nullify our egos and unnecessary pride.
If you think that what you think is the only right way, you are on the wrong path and you need to correct yourself quickly. There are billions of people in this world and everyone has their own calculations about family matters and you are just one of them.
This post is not about not using your own logic and intellect, but you should always think like a family member before making any final decision(s).
Family is not just you. A family has different members and you are a part of the family. As a family member you should first think about the betterment of your family and then think about yourself.
This does not mean that you are not important, but it does mean that you should always think as a whole family before making any final decision(s).
Spend quality time with family on regular basis : As a family member, you have to manage daily, weekly and monthly family routines. You should eat, sleep and do all the daily family activities according to a predictable schedule together with your family.
Routines and family rituals help establish a family identity, reduce stress on your mind and create a solid and stable and accepting environment in your home.
Besides improving communication in your family, regular family meetings can be an important part of your family routine.
You should learn to leave work at the workplace as much as possible and always try to focus on the interest of your family when you are at home and outside. Remember that you can always change your company, but you can’t do the same with your family.
Spread the positive atmosphere : A strong and positive atmosphere in the family is always enjoyable for your own sake and as a whole family together.
It feels great to have a kind, careful and positive atmosphere in the family, which spreads warmth and love within the family.
Positive family relationships are highly important for many other reasons as given below: Provide your children all the skills they need to build their own healthy relationships within the family and also to secure their careers for their future.
There are simple things you can do to develop a positive atmosphere in your beautiful family relationships. For example –
Don’t ever overreact, avoid unnecessary drama, show needed appreciation, let your children know about your positive outcomes, always work as a team within your family, praise your spouse and children etc.
Help children to feel secure and loved all the time, which gives them a great confidence to explore their own world, try new things and learn. Provide a way for your family to have a smooth life and solve problems, resolve conflict and respect differences of opinion.
That’s why it’s worth maintaining and improving the relationship you share with your kids, spouse and other family members.
Maintain required discipline : Discipline here does not mean that you have to maintain strict vigilance within your family and home.
Instead of treating discipline as punishment, you should use it as a path to teach your children how to get their needs met without hurting or offending anyone inside or outside of your family.
Sometimes, you may get angry at times. Your anger should help to stay calm and teach your child how he / she should handle the situation wise and differently and how he or she can go about it differently next time.
Remember that your anger should not cause problems in your family members. Your anger should spread the lesson and avoid any unnecessary things in your family. This way you can build positive and more constructive ways with your family inside and outside your home.
Give each family member the required permission they need to express their feelings and act without any fear of criticism or judgment. When people expect harsh judgment, they tend to bottle-up things and avoid sharing their feelings.
This should be avoided in your family. If you are a parent, provide positive, constructive criticism and try to discourage your children from judging each other harshly in your family.
Instead of saying, “No, that’s not you should do it,” say, “Nice try, but I’ll also help you do it the right and better way.”
This automatically avoids any unwanted mood and improves confidence in your child and in future he/she will always seek good ideas from you.
Listen and communicate with your family members regularly : Active and proper communication and listening are the best ways to provide all the attention your family needs.
Make soft and loving eye-to-eye contact with them, shake your head gently, and say, “Yes, I can understand that.” First listen instead of planning what you’re going to say next, and don’t offer advice or your opinion until the other person has finished speaking.
When necessary, ask for clarification. Say, “Wait dear, what does that mean?” or “Is this before or after you saw it in the store?”
Active listening means putting down your phone while you’re talking to someone. Always try to avoid using the phone while talking to your family members when you are at home.
Completely avoid checking your texts or social media altogether, especially if you are having a serious conversation with your family members at home.
Always be as a team : When playing football, all eleven players must contribute to the team’s victory and success. Likewise, when your family works as a team, everyone feels supported and should contribute as a team.
Working as a team is easier when everyone understands where they stand, in this way it helps to have clear expectations, limitations, and boundaries.
You can encourage family teamwork in some of these ways as given here: Work together to solve problems and issues. It may be small as an atom or as big as a mountain, try solving things together.
Try to include your children in decisions like family outings, birthday parties and vacations. Give importance to their ideas too. Create your own family rules together with your children.
For example, ‘In our family we speak respectfully to each other, whoever breaks the rule has to clean the dishes of the day’.
Let children make some of their own decisions, for example, you can let your 12 – 14 year old decide whether to walk or bicycle home from school.
Comfort your family members : It is important for a family to be there for each other in good and bad times. If there is a family tragedy or a family member has a problem, working together can really help a lot.
Your children need your help during this time, and it is important to communicate properly and be clear with them. They require support and multiple explanations and they would react differently according to their age and family environment.
Feel free to talk about difficult topics with your children, such as mistakes and all kinds of emotions, including happiness, anger, frustration, fear and anxiety.
Always remember, it is best to wait until you are calm before you talk about strong emotions like anger. Be prepared for spontaneous conversation.
For example, very young children often would like to speak through their own feelings when they are in the bath or going to bed. Communicate about the difficult plans properly, especially with teenagers.
For example, sex, drugs, alcohol, academic difficulties and money are difficult topics for families to talk about. It definitely helps to think through your feelings and values before these things come up.
Completely avoid comparing : Social media is full of almost fictitious content and what we see is a mirage of their reality. In today’s social media, it’s easy to believe that just because other people always look happy in their pictures and videos, they always feel that way.
However, it is important to remember that every family must work to keep their relationships sweet, healthy and strong.
If you start to envy someone else’s family’s social media content, remind yourself that you don’t know what their real life is like, and they may have their own family issues and other problems just like everyone else.
Remember, even if someone else’s family takes more vacations or has more expensive things, it doesn’t mean they are happier than you and your family.
Be flexible : Flexibility is given a lot of prominence in today’s world. But this flexibility must be provided with careful thought. Above all, children need to spend as much time as possible with their parents and friends, avoiding all the modern gadgets.
It can be a lot of fun to spend time in an unplanned game or an unscheduled trip to a nearby park, and you and your kids will remember it fondly for a long time.
It’s good to have a regular routine, but it’s not the end of the world if it’s interrupted by one or more unexpected problems. For busy families, it’s useful to schedule it now and then, rather than avoid it altogether.
Let’s do household chores together : Yes, it is indispensable for today’s busy people where both husband and wife work.
Some people really enjoy doing household chores, but sharing the responsibilities will help everyone in your family take pride in your home. Try to have as much fun as possible by playing background music or having contests among yourself in the family.
For example, the one who finishes folding the laundry first can choose his/her favorite movie to watch together. Divide household chores according to age.
Youngest can do easy work and elder people can do more practical and difficult works. For example, after dinner, your youngest can wipe the table, your oldest can load the dishwasher, and you can put away the leftovers.
Read often together : Reading is such an ancient and equally highly motivating thing to practice. Yes, it can very challenging to to read a 300+ page book, whereas it is very easy to watch your favorite movie or listen to the audiobook or watch an YouTube video instead.
However, if most of your daily reading consists only social media posts, text messages, and news headlines, you’re missing lot of real knowledge.
Few of the benefits of reading together are: gain valuable knowledge, exercise your brain, improve your focus, improve your memory for longer time, enjoy entertainment,
improve your ability to empathize, improve your communication skills, reduce unwanted stress, improve your mental health and live longer.
Previous research suggests that reading to your children can foster an interest in knowledge and promote language development. It increases your children’s attention span and helps them become more curious about new ideas.
Look for books that your child likes the most to read. After reading, ask questions about the same topic.
Arrange weekly fun family gatherings : A family gathering doesn’t need to be formal or focus only on heavy and hard topics. Every week, turn off the TV and put away all your modern gadgets and hang out with each other for about 2 – 3 hours.
Discuss about all your ups and downs of the past week, any upcoming events and enjoy time together. Try to keep the tone simple and light.
The main aim is to encourage everyone to talk freely, give suggestions, feel comfortable and have fun with each other.
You can discuss questions like: “What is the most funniest and most incredible thing that happened to you this week?” Do your best to ensure that everyone participates equally, be it young or old, everyone should give 100% to this gathering.
Pray together : This is an excellent way to improve your entire family relationships. There is nothing more special than taking a few minutes every day to pray with your child.
Give your 10 – 15 minutes every day and you will notice a positive change by yourself. You may be highly educated, you may be a famous scientist or a doctor or an engineer.
Similarly you may be working in an IT firm, but nothing can be as big as faith in God. By explaining the purpose behind prayer, your children will learn the importance of faith as the foundation of a family.
Also, when parents attend religious services, they instill respect for God in their children. Temples and churches provide invaluable support to families.
Family needs or children wants : A major conflict in most families around the world is, which is most important, family’s need? or to fulfill children’s wants?
Every family needs certain things such as food, shelter, clothes, education and health services, etc. These are considered as the basic needs.
All the family members are satisfied if all these things are provided to them. Whereas a child’s extra wants like costly toys, a bag full of chips, a big soda, cookies or brownies or candy, iPhone, etc.
But actually your child need these things: Your hugs and kisses wherever you go, imagine your child’s day start with your love. He/she goes happily to school, learn many new things and activities, he/she needs your time to share those feelings and activities with you.
You need to say bedtime stories. when they sleep they need you at any cause. Children need nutritious food to grow up well, etc.
So, remain the authority figure, but give your children every opportunity to earn your love and trust. Later, gradually and slowly increase their independence and privileges as they mature and grow-up.
For example, set a time frame for when your teen goes out, and if they stick with it for a few months, extend it after a while as per requirement.
Before arguing with your spouse, think about these : Before a couple starts fighting or arguing, you should think about its source.
List of things that start arguments, quarrels, quarrels, disagreements etc. between spouses are as given here:
A lack of affection or fear of intimacy, unfair distribution of household chores, financial issues, plans for the future, disagreements about family planning, differing parenting styles, pet peeves, politics, jealousy rude or forgetful behavior, etc.
If you and your partner argue, remember that the way you behave affects your child’s behavior. Stick to a specific topic instead of bringing up past issues or resorting to personal attacks all the time. If necessary, sort out the argument when your kids aren’t present around you.
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