Why do relationships fail (nowadays) (reasons) (hard) (difficult) (psychology) | Why do long distance relationships fail | Why am I such a failure at relationships | What is the biggest cause of relationship breakups? | What to do when relationships fail? | Psychology of failed relationships
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Just before going to “Why do relationships fail (nowadays) (reasons) (hard) (difficult) (psychology) | Why do long distance relationships fail | Why am I such a failure at relationships | What is the biggest cause of relationship breakups? | What to do when relationships fail? | Psychology of failed relationships“, let us know a brief, basic and very important information.
What is a relationship : Commitment, respect, sacrifice and belief are the four most important pillars in a relationship, that’s why it is called as a relationship.
If and only if a man and a woman are mentally and physically committed to each other in this way it becomes a relationship and if this lost, the couple feel like their life is extinguished.
Meaning of love (true) : Unconditional love (physically and mentally), talk without intention, give without reason, care without expectation, this is the true meaning of true love.
Main reason for the failure of relationships (nowadays) : People today are facing various problems related to relationships.
The main reasons that create a wall between couples and break the relationship between them are expectation of luxurious life, desire for money and extramarital affairs.
This is causing couples to lose trust, miscommunication is growing exponentially, priorities are changing and there is a lack of good intimacy between married couples (but unwanted and extra marital affairs are growing).
In this post (article), your will find various reasons about “Why relationships fail, especially in today’s (nowadays) age”, “What is the biggest reason for relationship breakup”, “Some people get married more than once, but still their relationship fails”.
Let’s know the various reasons related to this and how to build a good relationship even though relationships are failing nowadays.
Commonly asked questions regarding this subject is as given below:
Why do relationships fail | Why do relationships fail nowadays | Why do long distance relationships fail | Reasons why relationships fail | Why do all my relationships fail |
Why am I such a failure at relationships | Why do most relationships fail | Why do my relationships fail | What is the biggest cause of relationship breakups? |
What to do when relationships fail? | Why are relationships hard? | Psychology of failed relationships | And many more…
List of about “Why do relationships fail (nowadays) (reasons) (hard) (biggest cause) (breakups)” is as given below:
‘I’ (Ego) is the first and foremost cause : You have left your ‘I’ (ego) unchecked and thus it is creating tremendous turmoil in your life, especially with your spouse or partner.
Unwanted emotions such as anger, resentment, fear and jealousy are products of the ego. ‘I’m always right’, ‘You’re always wrong’, ‘I know everything’, ‘You know nothing’, etc. are common phrases for married couples.
If you have all these, how can you expect your marriage relationship to be good? How can you be happy with your partner? How can you lead peacefully and blissful life with your partner?, you should think about this 1000 times.
What to do to avoid ego in relationship : First you need to apologize to your spouse. This small sentence of “I’m sorry, I won’t do it again” can improve and boost your relationship exponentially.
Try and do a selfless act of love and enjoy giving without expecting anything in return from your partner. Be grateful to your partner for the good things in your life and it is the most effective way to get rid of your ‘I’ (ego).
Thank your spouse who is always ready to help you or has helped you in some way in the past. Appreciate your spouse for any little things they do for you.
Not providing space to your spouse : This is a very important factor in breaking many relationships around the world nowadays. But how much space is good enough in a relationship?
Providing your spouse space is an act of love, compassion, respect and acceptance. It shows that you trust and value your partner for who they are.
Giving your spouse space will help them get reacquainted with you and deepen your connection. If you have trouble making space, you may have unresolved issues of your own.
You should sit down and solve all those problems immediately. If all these problems persist in your mind, you will burn from inside and outside, mentally and physically.
How much space is good in a relationship : There is no specific measure about it, because every relationship is different and unique. You must be your own judge on this matter. This is because parameters vary between couples.
One couple may need more time to pursue hobbies and interests, while others may require ‘short time’ to get away from the complexities and responsibilities of a relationship.
You should be very careful in this matter and both of you (couple) should sit down and think about it and resolve it as soon as possible for a fruitful today and future.
Unrealistic expectations have increased manifold : Every human has his/her own expectations, and it is quite healthy too. Minimum and realistic expectations are very common in any relationship.
But, if those expectations are unrealistic and gluttony, your relationship starts to get a little complicated and can cause big problems today and in the future as well.
When you go into a relationship expecting your partner to be the most perfect human on earth, you’re setting your relationship up for disaster. No one is perfect on this earth. You have to sculpt the stone (relationship and family) with your own hands.
Unrealistic standards of comparing your financial status with your neighbors or your boss contribute to a good percentage of failed relationships.
List of the unrealistic expectations in married relationships are : We should live like billionaires. | We should lead a luxurious life. | All opportunities should come my (our) way without any difficulties. |
When I argue with you, you should always listen to me. Because I’m always right. | I am more educated than you. | I earn more than you. | I am paying all the household bills. |
No one should hate me and everyone should always like me, although I may or may not like that person or people. | I am always right and therefore everyone must accept my ideas. |
People should always listen to what I have to say. | Your knowledge is minimal and mine is excellent and worthy. | I can spend money on all my desires, you shouldn’t question me. | And many more…
If you have this kind of mindset, you cannot expect to live a life of happiness and contentment. You are always stressed and you are not able to sleep well at night. You be your own best judge.
Chances of long distance relationship failure are high : Why do people get married? Answer – To live together, emotionally and physically. If you both are not attached, then you may in trouble.
Past studies shows that long-distance couples who do not make plans to live in the same home with their spouses experience higher levels of distress, poorer communication, and less satisfaction in their relationship, both emotionally and physically.
Loneliness, unwanted thoughts and trust issues arising from a long distance relationship can take a toll on your mental and emotional health.
In today’s world technology plays an important role in connecting two people anywhere in the world, but the happiness you get when you are together cannot be found through gadgets.
On any busy day you are working all day and you can hold some other official work in the evening. During this time, you won’t be able to reach your partner through a gadget and this can cause real stress for both of you.
The author of this post is not against long distance relationship, but wants to inform about the drawbacks of this type of relationship. Because marriage is made to live together.
Infidelity is the biggest factor : There is not a single good or positive thing about it. Infidelity destroys the foundation of a marriage, relationships, trust, respect etc. in many ways.
A partner who has cheated cannot get over the pain and emotional trauma caused by the cheating. Most of them will find it difficult to trust their partner again, especially if they have done this in the past.
Adultery is indeed a moral wrong, because the marriage ceremony is a pure and faithful relationship between husband and wife, and having sex with another person outside of marriage is always a sin, a betrayal of trust and love.
Cheating can destroy a marriage, shatter your ability to trust your partner, hurt your children, and lead to depression, anxiety, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
We must always remember that we are human beings and are wise enough to distinguish between what is right and what is wrong for us. As humans we pride ourselves on our superior thinking ability, but in this case we behave worse than mere animals.
Intimate incongruence : Another biggest reason couples break up has to do with physical intimacy. Yes, of course sex isn’t everything in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean it is not at all required.
Physical touch strongly transmits a feeling of being accepted and cared for, with emotional benefits. Touch also offers physiological benefits.
In one study, partners had lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, on the next day when they experienced more physical intimacy including holding hands or hugging.
This ‘all-natural love potion’ helps increase trust and feelings of love and attachment. Sexual satisfaction is a predictor of increased emotional intimacy for couples.
On the other hand, when sexual abstinence is involuntary, maximum individuals may experience negative effects on their mental and physical health.
Conversely, people who do not experience sexual desire may find these feelings excruciating. Not having sex while in a relationship can make a person feel insecure or anxious.
People feel inferior if they compromise : Compromise is one of the main factors in a relationship without which relationship life can become problematic. Compromising couples put their partner’s happiness before their own.
Meeting in the middle on issues big and small shows maturity, love and affection. On the contrary, some couples break up when they cannot reach a compromise.
But they are happy to display selfish and stubborn behavior. This is the complete opposite of a happy relationship. This does not mean you have to compromise your inner peace.
In healthy relationships, you trust that your partner has your best interests at heart. And they will trust you in the same way and compromising with your partner will always improve your relationship.
Always remember that good compromises help you and your partner grow together as a family. They build trust, accountability, stability and security in your relationship.
A positive and necessary compromise shows that you have a common goal in mind, that you have common thoughts in mind, and that you have a healthy partnership at heart rather than your own happiness.
You want your spouse to change first : Does your spouse complain of illness, but won’t see a doctor? Does your spouse make plans for a romantic outing, but then ruin it by telling too tired or unwell?
Does your partner make unfulfilled promises? Does your partner admit there are problems in your relationship but refuse to change himself/herself first?
If your answer is “yes” to all or most of these questions, it sounds like you have a partner who refuses or isn’t motivated to change, but wants you to change first.
This can create problems that cause conflict, both short-term and long-term, and can damage your relationship satisfaction and potentially destroy your relationship.
It’s important to find ways to resolve issues with your partner and explore options that help you cope and plan your next steps, to your benefit. For many people ‘change’ is a scary word.
Everyone wants others to change, but they don’t want to change for multiple reasons because they don’t understand the intricacies of the issues.
Instead of thinking ‘you have to change first’ you have to start thinking ‘change has to happen from me first’. Change is a special thought. It has to be initiated at the earliest.
For example you have worked in one company for 10 years and due to various reasons, you have to leave that company and join another company.
After you join that new company, you have to change as per the rules of the new company. The company doesn’t change just because you joined there. Make sure to change first from now itself.
You are too busy to spend time with your partner : The busier we are, the more our relationships suffer. We are more tired, overworked and don’t have time to share special moments with loved ones.
Even when we are physically present we are not mentally present with partner and family. Being busy takes emotional energy, physical energy, or both.
Few people want money, luxurious life, SUV, all latest electronic gadgets, dinner in big hotels, but they forget the most important thing in their life which is love and affection of their partner and family.
We must remember that all luxury can only make you happy for that moment. But if you want long-term happiness and peace of mind, you must give enough time to your partner and family.
Earning money is definitely important, but you need to spend that money on your spouse and family. Enjoy life with them rather than spending time in your office all week.
Spend time with your spouse and family, go out with your spouse and family, have dinner with your spouse and family, enjoy life with your spouse and family. And spending time for just making money is not at all important for a happy and peaceful life.
You have minimized communication : This is the biggest problem with today’s partners. Couples have almost stopped to make proper and adequate communication.
A lack of communication can lead to blame, criticism, relationship anxiety, depression, and dissatisfaction in marriages or relationships, and can increase the likelihood of breakups, separations, or divorces.
Examples of poor communication in relationships is as given here: Partners don’t listen properly. | Spouse invalidate the feelings of the partner. | Your partner interrupt you in conversation often. | They offer unsolicited advice. |
They are constantly distracted. | Your partner use aggressive language. | Your spouse practice stonewalling during conflict. | They are defensive. | He / She lack empathy. | They have poor emotional intelligence. | They don’t manage their tone or inflection. |
Examples of good communication in relationships is as given here: Partners are truthful and kind to each other. | Body language is always positive. | Each partner is given ample opportunity to speak. |
The statements are kind, loving and to the point. | Care and compliments are always there when speaking. | Give your partner your undivided attention, whatever the reason may be. | Couples do not interrupt each other abruptly during discussions. |
Create neutral and ample space. | Talk face to face. | Make eye-to-eye contact. | Always be honest with your partner. | Give importance to even the smallest things. | Make regular physical contact. | Make communication more fun. |
Trust issues has increased : Traumatic childhood experiences can lead to trust issues throughout your life. You may have seen your parents, neighbors or others fighting and this may have been fixed in your mind.
Or in some cases, you may have been abused, neglected, or generally mistreated as a child. Thus, even though you are now an adult, you may find that you still have problems trusting people.
How to build trust in relationship: Be open, acknowledge feelings and practice being vulnerable. | Assume that your partner has good intentions. | Be honest and communicate about important issues in your relationship. |
Acknowledge how past hurts can trigger mistrust in the present. | Listen to your partner’s story. | Trust your intuition. | Practice repair after an argument. | Know that you don’t need to say what you want. |
Lack of respect to your partner : Respect can decrease due to various issues like financial status, infidelity, inadequate communication, lack of empathy etc.
If your partner thinks you are stupid or foolish, even if they subconsciously do not want to spoil you and control you, this could be a subtle sign.
Self esteem can slowly erode from day-to-day stresses and strains. If you or your partner are stressed or struggling with your own issues, you can become irritable and negative and take out your frustrations on your partner.
How to improve respect in relationship: Always speaking openly and honestly with each other. | Listening to each other in times of joy and stress. | Validate each other’s feelings and needs almost all the time. |
Compromise for each other’s needs. | Both speak kindly to each other. | Giving each other plenty of space. | Supporting each other’s interests, hobbies, careers etc. | Respect each other’s boundaries, no matter what. |
Don’t let others know your family secrets : Yes, you all are well educated and aware of the situation and fully equipped to face any problem in your life. This may sound old fashioned, but is a very important point to follow.
There are many family secrets that are not revealed to others including your parents. Some are not told to the husband’s parents and some to the wife’s parents, some are not told to both. Many secrets are not told to neighbors and even more so to relatives and friends.
Keep them with you and don’t try to blow them up with others. You have to be your own best judge here, because your family secret will be different and everyone else’s secret will be different.
You need to know what to tell others and what to keep as your own secret. There are some secrets that cannot be told to others, but there are some that need to be communicated with well-wishers.
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